meet yourself

summer is my favorite time of year. i’m built for hot weather. i love to bake in a sunny window, sweat on a sidewalk. summers of years past often tend to take on a rosy tint in my memory; i smell my favorite summertime perfume and the years come rushing back. days by the seashore, nights by the backyard fire. oddly, the bug bites, hangovers, allergy eyes don’t figure quite as heavily into these memories; neither do my deepest darkest summertimes, the times i was so far inside my own body the sun couldn’t reach, the times everything looked perfect but nothing felt right, the long nights drinking alone, treading water in despair that i couldn’t see the bottom of.

and of course, i compare myself to those gilded women of those summers gone. why am i not as carefree, not as creative? not as ready to laugh, not as in love with the air i move though?

i’m not that girl (and i probably never was) but what i am is here. i’m packing up moving boxes and i’m making big plans. i’m working hard and wishing i was working harder. i’m moving through these anxiety attacks the only way i know how – by putting my head under and letting the waves crash over me until i can breathe again.  i’ll have another adventure in the passenger’s seat & a long night with the lightning bugs & a perfect, glittering afternoon that drips by with a good book and a sparkling drink. all that much and more is promised. right now all i have to do is be here.

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fucking gemini season

See left for the official Gemini Season Mood®

We are out here:

  • going out for “one drink” and Ubering ho
    me at 1AM, jumpsuits splattered in cheap white wine
  • attending rooftop drag shows
  • impulse booking solo summer getaways
  • loving our bodies, wherever they are right now
    • (our thick thighs are strong; our skin and bones exquisite; our waists and hips, the birthright of our mothers and their mothers before them)
  • devouring a summer read in our happy place (on the porch in the sunshine or curled in a furry blanket during a summer rainstorm)

***

This season is the rising manic energy of a city sidewalk at 7pm on a Friday night, voices spilling out onto the streets, happy hour giving way to golden hour, sandals cruising toward trouble, bass beats, neon lights. It is, too, a dark Saturday morning spent listening to rain pound on the windows — cancel spin class in favor of a Netflix binge, coffee in bed. It’s daydreaming and crying jags, it’s who you become when flirting with a pretty stranger. Put on fourteen pretty  dresses in the fitting room, buy none of them. It’s the season of bats and lightning bugs and thick green leaves quivering, thrumming at dusk.

big leo mood

 

I had a lot of fun compiling these images! Leo season, for me, represents the pleasure center of summer. Late nights grooving in a Brooklyn basement, body glitter and birthday cake, fluorescent popsicles, caffeine and cocktails flavored with pineapple, strawberry, lime, coconut. Leo season is the time to dance on a table, give someone a piece of your mind and wear your hair like the crown it is, honey. This summertime glow (anyone else feel their best when they’re a little freckled, bronzed and dewy?) and sundress season has me feeling a little vain, but Leos like Madonna, J.Lo, Coco Chanel and Kylie Jenner would all tell you: it ain’t a crime to feel yourself.

Leaning into Gemini

Learning about astrology has given me the tools to be more present where I am, when I am. Instead of counting off the days until the next big event I’m waiting for, I’ve come to appreciate the things that each month and season of the year brings to the table. Gemini gets a bad rap, but this time of year is way too exciting to hole up at home and wait for it to blow over! Here’s how I’m leaning into to Gemini Season:

  1. Hitting the dance floor. Summer’s start is for long, sweaty nights on the dance floor. Wielding a Corona overhead like a high-viz baton on an airport runway and jumping around to the hits of the 90s, 2000s and today is well within my wheelhouse, but this month I’m pushing myself out of my comfort zone by taking a salsa class. I can’t think of a better way to channel the frenetic, restless energy of June than challenging my body to move in a few new ways. I’m also looking forward to letting a few sparks fly with my partner — what better time to partner up than Gemini season?!
  2. Playing tourist close to home. A lot of people take Memorial Day weekend as a cue to fly the coop, but with a July and August packed full of travel, I’m savoring the time at home while I can. Still, I’m scratching the travel itch by making a point to visit a new-to-me spot in my city every weekend. That new Italian place I keep hearing about, the jazz bar downtown that my Uber driver raved about, the ice cream place I walk by every day on the way to work, that museum exhibit that I really have no excuse for not having visited by now…
  3. Picking up a new nonfiction book. We’ve moved into an air sign now, which means heady pursuits rule. Geminis are particularly inquisitive: part of the reason they are renowned gossipers! I love the tea as much as the next person, but I’m channeling some of that energy into learning a bit more about a topic that interests me. Currently on my bedside table: Talking Back, Talking Black by John McWhorter and Lafayette in the Somewhat United States by Sarah Vowell.
  4. Finding new life in old wheels. Gemini is ruled by Mercury, bringing to mind a messenger flying high on those winged heels. I’ve been a little more sedentary than I’d like lately, so I’m taking my rusty old bike to the shop and forcing myself to be more mobile this month! Even walking to work or to the shops makes a difference in my day. I feel more part of the community I live in, and it can be a centering exercise – a great time to think through problems and get inspired.
  5. Travel reading and writing. Mercury rules communication and travel, so this month I’ll try to flex my creative muscles by getting inspired by travel! I could spend all day organizing trips I’ll never take (am I the only one?!),  so I plan on having some fun planning a few upcoming trips I have on the docket this summer. It’s a more productive way to kill time than Netflix. #QueenofTripAdvisor